Good to the Last Drop

I am the only one in my family that drinks coffee, which means I often find myself making a whole pot of coffee in the morning and then throwing most of it out. Since I prefer not to waste money on anything except shoes, I finally decided to wise up and get one of those one cup coffee makers.

The options were dizzying. Ever since I last purchased a coffeemaker, the world had exploded with various types of coffeemakers from the ones that simply brewed a fine cup of coffee to ones that could make a double soy latté with a fresh baked chocolate croissant, wipe your mouth for you, and then pick up the dry cleaning for you when you were done.

I wanted a coffee maker that could make a double soy latté with a fresh baked chocolate croissant, wipe your mouth for you, and then pick up the dry cleaning for you when you were done.

The one I decided to buy was not just any one cup coffee maker. This was an uber-coffee maker. It was the creamora of the crop. This was one of those espresso-pod coffee makers that looked like it been designed by an Italian race car company. It gleamed. It purred. And it brewed from 0 to 60 in less than a minute. All I had to do was fill the well with water, pop in a pod, and voila… a lovely cup of latte. Really, how much easier could it be?

I bid my ten-cup coffee maker a fond farewell and stuck it up in the top of the closet with the panini press, yogurt maker, spiralizer, and other things I had bought or were gifted  and never used but didn’t want to throw away on the off chance that ten people would suddenly visit me who all wanted coffee with a panini, spiralized zucchini and a cup of yogurt on the side.

It could happen.

So, this morning I popped in my pod, filled up my water, and started up the machine. I turned my back to check my email and then, when I heard the whooshing sound stop, I turned back to retrieve my coffee.

But there was no coffee.

I stood for a minute wondering if I had not actually made the coffee, I just thought I did. I knew I’d heard the whooshing sound so I was sure I had made a cup of coffee, but there was no cup under the coffee maker.  While I stood there like an idiot trying to figure out what the heck happened, I noticed something drip off the counter.  Then a steady stream of something poured off the counter.  It finally dawned on me that the stuff pouring off the counter was my coffee and I had, in fact, made the coffee…

I just never put the cup in the machine to catch it.

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