Lost in Midlife

T’was a Week Before Christmas

T’was a Week Before Christmas

’Twas a week before Christmas and our wallets were bare… There wasn’t so much as a dollar in there The gift cards were purchased, the stockings were stuffed Even the eggnog tureen had been buffed.   The bonus was gone, the tips had been tipped The gift to Aunt Martha had finally been shipped. The lines at the mall were…

The Brapocalypse

The Brapocalypse

My philosophy has always been, when you find something that works, stick with it.  This was true for my preferred brand of peanut butter, my husband, and my bras.  Although some people may find it boring to stick with the same style of bra for years and years, for those of us who are a tough fit, finding a good…

Making the Least of a Hairy Situation

Making the Least of a Hairy Situation

One of the things I find to be a complete waste of time is shaving my legs. It’s not that I don’t need it, it’s just that the shave lasts all of about eight hours before the werewolf in me begins to re-emerge. Additionally, with the vast acreage of hairy body parts that need to be attended to, it takes…

High on the Hill was a Lonely Goatherd

High on the Hill was a Lonely Goatherd

“Hi, I’m Didi, and this is my husband Bob.  We’re your neighbors!” I stood at the door to our Vermont ski rental and stared at the older couple in front of me.  She had her hair in two tight braids on either side of her head like Heidi of the Mountain.  He was wearing lederhosen. I was speechless. “We’re on…

The Mean Old Turkey of Turkeyville

The Mean Old Turkey of Turkeyville

Clearly the wild turkey that was standing in the middle of the road had not heard about the roast turkey I made for dinner last week or he might have moved at a slightly faster pace. However, this turkey seemed in no hurry to go anywhere… but I was. Had it been the size of a normal turkey, I would…

Attack of the Frozen Forehead

Attack of the Frozen Forehead

About five years ago I noticed that the shallow lines on my forehead had started to morph into wandering rivers. Since I wear my hair very short, there wasn’t really any way to cover them up and I complained to my husband that I was starting to look old. “How old do you think you look?” he asked. “Around fifty,”…

Welcome to the Club

Welcome to the Club

“I got an invitation on Facebook to join the Magnetic Eyelashes Fan Group,” I told my husband as I stared at my computer screen. “What does that even mean,” he asked incredulously. “It’s a group on Facebook for people who like Magnetic Eyelashes, I assume.” “Is that a thing?” he said. “Apparently,” I said. “Although I have no idea what…