Da Holidays

I’m Dreaming of a Ruff Christmas

I’m Dreaming of a Ruff Christmas

As we worked our way through the holiday season, I was prepared for the onslaught of Christmas music, Christmas decorations, and Christmas sales. What I was not prepared for, was the Christmas sweaters… On dogs. “Excuse me,” I said to the lady with a unhappy looking pug wearing a Christmas romper with writing on it. “What does it say on your…

T’was a Week Before Christmas

T’was a Week Before Christmas

’Twas a week before Christmas and our wallets were bare… There wasn’t so much as a dollar in there The gift cards were purchased, the stockings were stuffed Even the eggnog tureen had been buffed.   The bonus was gone, the tips had been tipped The gift to Aunt Martha had finally been shipped. The lines at the mall were…

The Mean Old Turkey of Turkeyville

The Mean Old Turkey of Turkeyville

Clearly the wild turkey that was standing in the middle of the road had not heard about the roast turkey I made for dinner last week or he might have moved at a slightly faster pace. However, this turkey seemed in no hurry to go anywhere… but I was. Had it been the size of a normal turkey, I would…

My Funny Valentine

My Funny Valentine

Being the wonderful guy that he is, my husband knows that the way to my heart is through chocolate. I’m not a snob… really any chocolate will do.  Except the kind with coconut on the inside. Or cherry goop. Or insects.   But other than that, I’m happy to be lavished with any other kind of chocolates.  This has made buying me a…

Hey, Who Dropped that Fruitcake on my Foot?

Hey, Who Dropped that Fruitcake on my Foot?

This month, while most people are suffering from colds and flu, I have developed a lesser known malady known as Lickity Spit Tongue.  This condition is marked by a dry, slighty gummy tongue, caused by licking hundreds of stamps and envelopes for my holiday cards because the post office ran out of the self-stick kind. While Lickity Spit Tongue may…

The Mysterious Case of the Beaver in the 'Burbs

After many years in the suburbs, it seems logical that I would be familiar with most of the local wildlife by now. But when I saw something huge and furry that wasn’t my dog scurry across my backyard, I was pretty sure that I had witnessed something new to the ‘burbs. “There’s a beaver in our backyard,” I informed my husband. …

A Conversation with some Sh*tty Moms

A Conversation with some Sh*tty Moms

Every once in a while a book comes along that is so funny, so irreverent, and one that I can so completely relate to, that I need to give it a Lost in Suburbia shout out. Today Show producers and self-appointed sh*tty moms, Mary Ann Zoellner and Alicia Ybarbo  just released a sequel to their NY Times bestseller, Sh*tty Mom: The…