Who Are These Children and Why are they Calling Me Mommy

Top 10 Reasons I Like My Dog Better Than My Kids

Top 10 Reasons I Like My Dog Better Than My Kids

1. I don’t have to yell at the dog to stop texting at the table. Licking himself? Yes. Texting? No. 2. My dog will eat anything he finds in his bowl. He will also eat anything on the floor, in the hamper, and outside, dead or alive. 3. My dog is perfectly happy to play with just a dirty sock…

Hey, Who Dropped that Fruitcake on my Foot?

Hey, Who Dropped that Fruitcake on my Foot?

This month, while most people are suffering from colds and flu, I have developed a lesser known malady known as Lickity Spit Tongue.  This condition is marked by a dry, slighty gummy tongue, caused by licking hundreds of stamps and envelopes for my holiday cards because the post office ran out of the self-stick kind. While Lickity Spit Tongue may…

No Loafing Around

No Loafing Around

Having been a mom for twenty years, I’ve figured out how to cook enough basic meals to keep my family alive. However, since I only have about a half dozen dishes that I’ve perfected, it was just a matter of time before my family got completely sick of my cooking. Even the dog was sick of the scraps that fell…

The Last One to Leave the Nest

The Last One to Leave the Nest

I’m out of a job. For twenty years my main job has been to be a stay at home mom to my two children. But tomorrow my last child leaves for college and with her, all of the job responsibilities I’ve hated, endured, complained about, and loved every minute of will also disappear. When the first one arrived 20 years…

Amusing Myself at the Amusement Park

Amusing Myself at the Amusement Park

When you have kids, going to theme parks is one of those necessary evils, like having the theme song to Spongebob Squarepants stuck in your head for weeks on end or finding petrified goldfish crackers under the cushions of your sofa. When my kids were younger, I didn’t mind the theme park outings quite as much because the kids were happy…

Sofa… So Good.

Sofa… So Good.

“The sofa has left the building,” my husband said to me over the phone. I jumped up and down. My husband had decided to upgrade his leather office couch, and the reject was coming home to go in our playroom. Until now, the playroom had plenty of room to play, but no place to sit. When they were tired of…

Coming out of the Closet

Coming out of the Closet

Not too long ago, if you said you had a room the size of a closet, it meant the space was probably pretty darn small. These days, however, it’s not uncommon to have a closet the size of a living room, with more sliding drawers, revolving racks and custom shoe trees than Barney’s or Bloomies or Paris Hilton. So nowadays,…