1. I don’t have to yell at the dog to stop texting at the table. Licking himself? Yes. Texting? No. 2. My dog will eat anything he finds in his bowl. He will also eat anything on the floor, in the hamper, and outside, dead or alive. 3. My dog is perfectly happy to play with just a dirty sock…
This month, while most people are suffering from colds and flu, I have developed a lesser known malady known as Lickity Spit Tongue. This condition is marked by a dry, slighty gummy tongue, caused by licking hundreds of stamps and envelopes for my holiday cards because the post office ran out of the self-stick kind. While Lickity Spit Tongue may…
Having been a mom for twenty years, I’ve figured out how to cook enough basic meals to keep my family alive. However, since I only have about a half dozen dishes that I’ve perfected, it was just a matter of time before my family got completely sick of my cooking. Even the dog was sick of the scraps that fell…
I’m out of a job. For twenty years my main job has been to be a stay at home mom to my two children. But tomorrow my last child leaves for college and with her, all of the job responsibilities I’ve hated, endured, complained about, and loved every minute of will also disappear. When the first one arrived 20 years…
When you have kids, going to theme parks is one of those necessary evils, like having the theme song to Spongebob Squarepants stuck in your head for weeks on end or finding petrified goldfish crackers under the cushions of your sofa. When my kids were younger, I didn’t mind the theme park outings quite as much because the kids were happy…
“The sofa has left the building,” my husband said to me over the phone. I jumped up and down. My husband had decided to upgrade his leather office couch, and the reject was coming home to go in our playroom. Until now, the playroom had plenty of room to play, but no place to sit. When they were tired of…
Not too long ago, if you said you had a room the size of a closet, it meant the space was probably pretty darn small. These days, however, it’s not uncommon to have a closet the size of a living room, with more sliding drawers, revolving racks and custom shoe trees than Barney’s or Bloomies or Paris Hilton. So nowadays,…
I know there are some people who enjoy going back to school and getting advanced degrees, but when I graduated college, I was happy to never, ever, EVER open a textbook again. It’s not that I was a bad student. It’s just that no matter how much I studied, there were some subjects that simply would not take hold in…
“Did someone throw a Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich at my car?” I asked. My husband and kids just stared at me. “There is Peanut Butter and Jelly on the side of my car,” I explained. “What makes you think it’s Peanut Butter and Jelly?” asked my husband. “It’s purple and brown,” I said. “Did you taste it?” asked my…