My philosophy has always been, when you find something that works, stick with it. 

This was true for my preferred brand of peanut butter, my husband, and my bras.  Although some people may find it boring to stick with the same style of bra for years and years, for those of us who are a tough fit, finding a good bra can be as important as finding a good husband, but generally with more support.

Shopping for replacement bras, therefore, is not usually a big deal.  I go to the department store, show the saleslady my bra, tell her my size and she comes back with brand new versions of the same thing.

But then one day I went to the store, asked for my bra, and the saleslady shook her head.

“We don’t carry those anymore.”

I blinked at her in disbelief. I suddenly felt woozy and the room began to swim. Her words sounded very far away as she added, “They discontinued that style.”

“Huh?” I replied stupidly. They distinguished the fire?”

“No,” she repeated slowly. “THEY DISCONTINUED THAT STYLE!”

In my peripheral vision the bras began to blur. I turned and saw the racks of lingerie around me begin to sway and the ground start to tremble.  There would be no more perfect bras for me. The brapocalypse had arrived.

There would be no more perfect bras for me.

The brapocalypse had arrived.

Somewhere in the distance I could hear someone screaming. It was moments later that I realized it was me.

“What?  NO!! They can’t have,” I bellowed. “Why?  WHY?? Why would they do such a thing?  It was the ideal bra.”

“There, there,” said the saleslady, patting me gently on the shoulder.  “They have some new styles that are even more comfortable and have much better support.  Come, I’ll show you.”

She guided me to the racks where my former bras used to hang and I choked back a sob.

Instead of my tried and true bras, they now had these lacy padded things which anyone with large ladies know will make you look like you have four sets of cleavage. Then she showed me another style that smushed everything together to create the dreaded uniboob. Finally, she introduced me to a third style with some improved technology that supposedly gave you support without an underwire, but in reality had your ladies resting on your knees.

“None of these will work for me,” I sighed.

“Here, just try this one,” she said, handing me one of the lacy imposters.

I went into the dressing room and put it on.  While it was not as low cut as it looked on the hanger, it had another glaring problem. It sat much higher on my chest than it’s intended occupants. Clearly it was made for someone much younger than me who still used the word “perky” to describe her assets and didn’t need to scoop them up with a crane to get them into the bra.

Disappointed and dejected, I went home to see if I could find the bra online, but the only ones I could find were for hundreds of dollars in the Netherlands.

Suddenly It occurred to me; my bra had become a collector’s item.  My spirits soared as I realized my bra problem was still an issue, but because of it, a new opportunity had just presented itself.

“Hey honey,” I yelled to my husband gleefully. “I just found out if I sell my bras online in the Netherlands I can make hundreds of dollars!”

“Great!” he replied.  “See what you can get for my underwear.”

 

©2020, Beckerman. All rights reserved. Follow Tracy on her Facebook Fan page at Facebook.com/LostinSuburbiaFanPage,  join the Lost in Midlife group at facebook.com/groups/lostinmidlife/ and follow on Instagram @TracyinMidlife

16 Comments

  • M. Valicek

    Funny. I like to laugh, especially in the mornings. Thank you.

    • admin

      I always like to laugh! Thanks for visiting!

  • M. Valicek

    Once again!

  • M. Valicek

    Yay

  • Pam Hopkins

    you are too funny. I can relate to the bra problem . . . so difficult to find a good bra that fits and and lifts and is comfortable

    • admin

      Yes, you can find one that fits, and another that lifts, and a third that is comfortable, but not one bra that does all of it. It’s like my jeans. There is a pair that look great, but I can’t talk in them because I can’t breathe. And another pair that are really comfortable, but they look like mom jeans.

  • Michele meisner

    Can definitely relate?
    I’m a new follower so i don’t know if you have tackled the bathing suit problem in print?

    • admin

      Ohhh many times, Michele. Bathing suits are my nemesis. I really wish we could go back to the old days when the bathing suits went from your ankles to your neck. Just think about all the sun damage you’d avoid too! 😉

  • Joni Sanders

    Do they even make a bra that fits, lifts and is comfortable?? If so, I have not been able to find it or afford it!

    • admin

      You can get one that does each of those, but not all in one bra!;)

  • Denise Acord

    The eternal bra dilemma! I hope you have found a workable substitute, but I know you’ll never get over the grief or outrage!

    • admin

      LOL! Maybe its time to burn my bra and go au natural!

  • Debbie

    I just signed up for your newsletter. I can see I’m going to enjoy your writings. Thanks for making me smile!

    • admin

      I’m SO glad you signed up and I’m so happy to make you smile!

  • Margaret Stone

    I’m lucky – I have small boobs. But I have never found a perfect bra because every single one feels like a vice harness on me. So I stopped wearing them for a long time, despite the disapproving looks from my Mom. Late in life, I decided a camisole with a bra in it might be an answer. I looked high and low, and bought many that I rejected after wearing them. I REALLY don’t like being squeezed even a teeny bit, below my boobs. I finally found one – the cups are too big and I had to cut the bottom part of the bra off (too squeezy), but at least I have something that I can look decent in when I need to. I bought six of them.

    • admin

      I feel like every women at every size has an issue with finding comfortable bras! How hard could it be to make something that gives you support and is also comfortable? I have friends who have tried Third Love and Soma and say they are really happy with them!

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