My good friend Susan recently gave me a medal. This is it. It is not for being a great writer, or a good friend, or a stupendous wife. It’s for being the Oldest Living Menstruating Woman on the Planet. Honestly, I didn’t know they give medals for stuff like that, but Susan says they do, and she is a humor-writing,…
I’m fifty-five, and according to my gynecologist, I’m not even in peri-menopause yet. I told her I thought she was mistaken because I had started sprouting chin hairs and my knees had started to wrinkle. She said that those weren’t a sign of menopause. They were signs I was turning into an elephant. She was actually very happy that I…
As I got to that “certain age,” somewhere between menstrual cramps and hot flashes, I was prepared for things like lip lines, upper arm fat and the fold of blubber that shows up right under your butt. But somehow, someone along the way forgot to warn me of one of the other scourges of aging: Chin hairs. The first time…
I’m one of those really, really lucky women who is fortunate enough to be blessed with both pimples and wrinkles at the same time. One would think that if my skin was oily enough to generate pimples, it would keep me from getting wrinkles. But, no … That would only make sense in a universe where women did not get…