I’m having an affair. My kids know, of course, because they’re often with me when it happens. I know its wrong, but no matter how many promises I make to myself, I seem unable to stop it. Much as I hate to admit it, I’m in love… with French fries. I truly loathe my weakness. I know it’s bad for…
“Hey Mom, I’m hungry, can we stop for something to eat?” inquired one of my offspring. “Sure,” I said, looking out the car window. “How ‘bout we go to that Dam Diner.” “TRACY!” yelled my husband. “What?” I replied, smirking. “That’s what it’s called: ‘The Dam Diner.’” I pointed out the window to a restaurant coming up on the right. It…
Years ago when I was a kid, eggs in the supermarket came in two colors: white and brown. Because I perceived the brown eggs as being slightly bigger, I suspected that they did not actually come from chickens at all, but something bigger like ducks or geese, or possibly an emu. Of course, the brown eggs were exactly the same…
Every so often I get an email of doom that has been sent to me along with everyone else on the planet. The latest one I received warned that we are on the verge of a severe Global Chocolate Shortage. The alleged cause is a combination of high demand and some alienesque choco-viruses that are attacking our beloved cocoa beans.…
To whomever picks out the music that gets played while we’re shopping in the supermarket, As a loyal shopper at your grocery store, I thought it was time to acknowledge the contribution you make to my weekly food shopping experience. I imagine that yours is an often thankless job, so I figured you would appreciate some feedback for the obvious…
Forgot to food shop? No time to make a fancy meal? YOU’VE BEEN COOKING FOR YOUR FAMILY FOR TWENTY YEARS AND YOU’RE OUT OF IDEAS? No problem! You probably have everything you need for a healthy, delicious, quick dinner right in your pantry and beyond. OK… maybe not healthy and delicious, but probably edible and non-life threatening. And if your…
As someone who has gained and lost enough weight over the years to make a whole other person, I like to think I have some experience eating my way through the holidays. I usually like to start my downward holiday trajectory with leftover Halloween candy, and keep right on going through the Thanksgiving chocolate turkeys to the Christmas party buffets…
For 40-something years, I have been under the impression that if you dropped food on the floor and you picked it up really fast, you could still safely eat it. In most circles, this is known as “The Five Second Rule” (and for the more fastidious, “The Three Second Rule”). This applied to anything that could easily be shaken or…