In certain Eastern spiritual traditions, the “Third Eye” is a mystical concept that represents a space of higher consciousness and enlightenment. For me, it represents a zit right in the middle of my forehead. “Nice third eye,” said my husband when I woke up one morning. “Whaaa?” I questioned, running to the mirror in the bathroom. “Can you see my…
Not long after my fiftieth birthday I noticed a disturbing trend. Everyone had suddenly started printing things smaller. As I looked around, I was shocked to see that the type on the food packaging had gotten smaller, the words in the newspaper and magazines I read had gotten smaller, and the names on street signs had gotten smaller. As a…
About five years ago I noticed that the shallow lines on my forehead had started to morph into wandering rivers. Since I wear my hair very short, there wasn’t really any way to cover them up and I complained to my husband that I was starting to look old. “How old do you think you look?” he asked. “Around fifty,”…
“Everything looks great,” exclaimed my internist at my annual check up. “But there’s one more thing,” “What?” I wondered. “Well, now that you’re in your fifties you get an extra special gift.” I was so excited. I never had a doctor give me a gift before. As far as I knew none of my friends ever got a gift from…
“It’s Tennis Elbow,” my doctor said matter-of-factly. “That’s impossible,” I responded, as I massaged my sore elbow. “I don’t play tennis.” She sighed. “It’s just called that because it’s a repetitive injury that is commonly seen in tennis players.” “Well, the only thing I do repetitively with that arm is change the channel with my remote. In fact,” I continued,…
I’m fifty-five, and according to my gynecologist, I’m not even in peri-menopause yet. I told her I thought she was mistaken because I had started sprouting chin hairs and my knees had started to wrinkle. She said that those weren’t a sign of menopause. They were signs I was turning into an elephant. She was actually very happy that I…
Whenever I go shopping, I’m usually pretty good about knowing which stores are age-appropriate and which are too young or too old for me. Typically, if the dresses in a store have less material than my underwear, I know my daughter should be shopping there, not me. And if a store sells clothes that could double as window curtains, both…
When the time came to get new eyeglasses, I decided I was ready for an upgrade. The optician told me I could get the kind of lenses that would turn dark when I was in the sun, so instead of having a regular pair of eyeglasses and a second pair of prescription sunglasses, I’d have one pair that would do…
One of the first things you’re required to do when you’re listing a house is fill out a Seller’s Disclosure Statement. This is where you divulge the condition of your property and anything in or outside the home that might not be in the best of shape or of concern for the buyer. Which led us to wonder: “Honey, do…