“What are you doing?” I asked my husband who was digging into his toolbox.
“I’m looking for my tape measure,” he said.
“So when the snow comes, I can measure it,” he replied matter-of-factly.
Although my husband sometimes comes up with some crazy ideas, this certainly seemed like a reasonable thing to do if we were expecting a lot of snow. Which we were. Because the TV weathermen said we were and everyone knows if they say it on TV, it has to be true.
The weather men swore up and down that the coming snowstorm was going to be a monster. There was going to be walls of snow! Mountains of it! So, we all ran to the supermarket to stock up on bread, milk and water, because apparently those three things are all you need to survive in the case that your power goes out for a week.
I happen to think wine, chocolate and double stuff Oreos supersede bread, milk and water… but maybe that’s just me.
The TV meteorologists worked themselves up into a Snowpocalypse-sized frenzy. You could see the sheer glee in their faces as they talked about a foot or more of snow in my area, like it had never happened before and signaled the beginning of a new Ice Age. Woolly Mammoths would be walking the streets! Saber Tooth Tigers in the supermarket aisles!
Meanwhile the people in Minnesota are all like, “Yawn. Whatever.”
Forget the Governor. The heads of the Departments of Sanitation became the most powerful men in the city, assuring us that all the salt trucks were loaded up and ready to spring into action to save us from what would surely be Snowmageddon.
Confident that my fridge was well-stocked and I would have enough bread to last me for two weeks if necessary, even though I am gluten-free and don’t eat bread, I went to bed with thoughts of sno-cones dancing in my head. I had now where to go. I had bread. I was ready!
When I woke up, I raced to the window and looked outside for the snow. But everything was…. brown. There was no snowmageddon. There wasn’t even a small snowmergency. There was a snow-ma-nothing.
Was I disappointed? Sure. I’m as up for a good snowpocalypse as the next person. But I decided to make the best of it. And so I give you:
TOP TEN THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU GET LESS SNOW THAN YOU WERE EXPECTING
- Make an itsy bitsy, teeny tiny snowman
- Make a snow angel in the mud
- Treat your kids to an empty sno-cone
- Catch a snowflake on your tongue. Just one. ‘Cause that’s all there is.
- Go sledding on an ice cube
- Shovel your driveway… with a spoon.
- Pucker up and blow the snow off your car
- Make an ice sculpture of an atom
- Make an igloo for an ant
- Have a very, very, very short snowball fight
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