1. I don’t have to yell at the dog to stop texting at the table. Licking himself? Yes. Texting? No.

2. My dog will eat anything he finds in his bowl. He will also eat anything on the floor, in the hamper, and outside, dead or alive.

3. My dog is perfectly happy to play with just a dirty sock all day.  And then have it for dinner.

4. My dog doesn’t take money out of my wallet without asking me. He’ll eat the wallet, but he won’t take money from it.

5. My dogs think my jokes are funny. I heard him laugh once, but he also may have been choking on a stick at the time.

6. My dog doesn’t mind if I smell bad or pass gas.  I actually thinks he prefers me that way.

7. My dog was housebroken in three months. It took my kids three years to get potty-trained.  

7. My dog was housebroken in three months. It took my kids three years to get potty-trained. 

8. My dog comes when I call him. Unless eating something outside, dead or alive.

9. My dog thinks I’m cool. But this is coming from an animal that thinks smelly underwear is the bomb. 

10. My dog loves me unconditionally. So do my kids, actually, as long as I pay them.


©2020, Beckerman. All rights reserved. Follow Tracy on her Facebook Fan page at Facebook.com/LostinSuburbiaFanPage,  join the Lost in Midlife group at facebook.com/groups/lostinmidlife/ and follow on Instagram @TracyinMidlife


  • Alisa McG

    You are so hilarious!!!!!

    • admin

      Now that I made you to laugh, would you want to borrow my kids?

  • Raymie

    Hehe! I can relate!

    • admin

      Welcome to the club!

  • Mary

    You give me a smile every time you come into my world. Great job! Thank you

    • admin

      I ❤️ you, Mary!

  • Denise Acord

    I love to read what you write! You make me laugh, no matter how hectic my day is!

    • admin

      Thank you Denise!

  • Anna Anderson

    My mum asked me why I treated my dogs better than my children. I said that the dogs behaved better. 😉

    • admin

      The dogs are also more appreciative!

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