’Twas a week before Christmas and our wallets were bare…
There wasn’t so much as a dollar in there
The gift cards were purchased, the stockings were stuffed
Even the eggnog tureen had been buffed.
The bonus was gone, the tips had been tipped
The gift to Aunt Martha had finally been shipped.
The lines at the mall were still crazy long
Price surging on ride shares was still going strong
The kids were safe studying in their college beds
as visions of Venmo checks danced in their heads.
Some gathered together to watch old Game of Thrones
While others schemed how to get cool new IPhones.
But back at our house as we tried to get cozy
A loud noise suggested that all was not rosy.
Someone was walking on top of the house
And that someone was bigger for sure than a mouse.
A burglar? An alien? What could it be?
Something was headed straight for our chimney.
And then with an “oomf” and an “ugh” he came down,
Not through the chimney but down to the ground.
With big rosy cheeks and good cheer galore
Our mystery roof-walker appeared at the door.
“I’m the guy that you called, I’m a roofer named Kringle
All that snow that just fell? It ruined your shingles.
“You need a new roof,” said the man dressed in red
“If you don’t do it soon it’ll fall in on your head.”
We looked at the tuition bills tossed on the table
The bills for electricity, water, and cable
Then we gave him a Visa to clean up the mess
Because Kringle won’t take American Express.
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